Two weeks ago I shared Michael Hyatt’s experience golfing with two friends. They were both excellent golfers, but one was encouraging and the other very critical. Michael always golfed better with the encourager, and enjoyed it much more. He surmised that the encouragement gave him more confidence which in turn allowed him to perform better. It was as if the confidence that you can do better becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy when you believe it, through the encouragement of someone who knows the subject.
Just as Michael saw the value in encouragement giving confidence through a contrast, so I have seen principles brought to life through a contrast of the good and not so good. I talked about the differences between a good boss and not so good one here and here. One of the characteristics of a good boss is the willingness to make decisions promptly. This in turn comes from the boss’s confidence, I believe, and the knowledge that delaying a decision leads to a wandering of the organization.
When a boss has well placed confidence he leads a team and makes wise decisions. I have appreciated working for good bosses with this characteristic. But the contrasts are the bosses who seem confident in their skills and abilities as a manager, but their confidence is largely misplaced. As a result of their bad decisions and without the proper consideration of the inputs and outcomes, their poor management breeds contempt and a lack of teamwork.
We have also all had coworkers with an abundance of confidence. I remember those whose confidence was well placed. They knew their area of expertise and were willing to share with others. They valued the opinions of others even though they knew their stuff. The contrast is the coworker who is confident to the point of arrogance, who thinks he is better than all the rest because he thinks he knows it all (even when he demonstrates he doesn’t).
The meaning of the word confidence is to trust or have faith. I’ve been talking about self confidence, so that is faith in yourself. We need to have faith that it is true that we can do better, can be better, and enjoy it more. We have to be able to visualize success and our ability to do this. Perhaps most important is that we have to be consistent in our endeavors. This again becomes a self fulfilling prophecy. As we build more confidence, we eliminate the self-doubt, which in turn leads to success, which then enables us to become even more confident.
How about you? Is there someone who encourages you, or someone you wished encouraged you more? Why not tell them? And isn’t there someone you would like to see with more confidence, that could use words of encouragement from you? What are you waiting for?
Thanks to http://howtogetconfidence.org/ for the image. Our cat looks like that one, and his name is Leo, but I’m not sure he ever looks in the mirror.