There are two words in Greek for crown, one for the crown of rule like a king’s, and another a victory crown, won in a competition. The second, the victory crown is the crown I receive from my granddaughters. Proverbs says that grandchildren are the crown of their grandparents. There is a competition for my time and interest, just as there is a competition for the time and interest of my granddaughters. When I succeed in making a memory we all will treasure and remember, that is a victory in life against the daily struggles and circumstances that can sidetrack us.
Proverbs also says that an excellent (worthy, virtuous, strong) wife is the crown of her husband. And just as submission is to be mutual with both the husband and wife, I believe that an excellent husband is also the crown of his wife. But the wife is mentioned in Proverbs because of her importance to the strength and maturity of the family. By maturity I don’t mean the age of the family or its members, but their ability to grow and learn from their circumstances and experiences.
The heart of how an excellent wife does this is by accepting the responsibility for the family support and growth. This morning, while singing “You wear the victor’s crown, you have overcome” I was struck by the contrast between an excellent wife and maybe a not so excellent wife. The excellent wife has overcome many challenges and issues and come out of them wearing a victor’s crown, which in turn provides a crown to her husband. In contrast, another wife thinks more along the lines of “you have been overcome” and assumes the role of a victim.
The victim mentality gets stuck on blaming others and circumstances for everything that they wish was better. The victor mentality accepts the fact that they cannot change all the circumstances or events, but they can control how they respond to them. They can choose to be a victor rather than a victim, and therefore deserve a crown. How about you? Are there some areas you could look at more as a victor? Do you appreciate the crown of victory provided by your spouse?